A Written Post

As I was looking over my recent posts, I just realized that I have not posted anything that I wrote in quite some time. In addition, the last one was a joke, created exclusively to test the limits of others' gullibility. (As well as the limits of my own creativity and research ability; I think I did more concentrated research for that post than for my research report.)

Speaking of research reports, I never finished the one I was supposed to last year, and I have been working on it this summer. I was never able to decide on a topic, so Mama assigned one to me: Atlantis. Some of you may have thought Atlantis was just a myth with no basis in history. Well, I have news for you: you might be right, and you are not alone. However, there are many who hold firm beliefs to the contrary. I have been pretty amazed by the number of theories people have come up with for the location of the legendary lost civilization. The most common theory I have come across is that the Atlantean civilization is the same as the Minoan, and that Atlantis was destroyed by a volcano. Some believe that it was located on some other Mediterranean island such as Malta or Cyprus, or that it was Greece itself. Still others believe - with great confidence, by the way - that Atlantis was on a now-destroyed Atlantic continent, South America, Antarctica, the North Sea (now submerged), Carribean islands, Indonesia, Palestine, outer space, or a former continent in the Indian Ocean (a continent which was smashed by a collision between the earth and one of its two moons, only one of which still remains). Interesting, huh?

Here I was going to jokingly say that I thought Atlantis was REALLY in some bizarre, ridiculous, exotic place, but all the most ridiculous have already been taken. Too bad for me.

Note to the masses:
By the way, I am still missing my digital camera, last seen on the morning I left for the family convention. I cannot guarantee it is at Fairwood, but I can't find it at home. So in case you do see it at Fairwood, it is a 6.0 mp Casio Exilim EX-Z110. Thanks.

Video: Remember When It Rained

Watch the Video

Ben and I had a lot of fun with this.

Look out Orlando!

Here comes Aaron!

The Best Speech I Ever Wrote

I profess in my career hitherto to have kept steadily in view the prosperity and honor of the whole country, and the preservation of our Federal Union. It is to that Union we owe our safety at home, and our consideration and dignity abroad. It is to that Union that we are chiefly indebted for whatever makes us most proud of our country. That Union we reached only by the discipline of our virtues in the severe school of adversity. It had its origin in the necessities of disordered finance, prostrate commerce, and ruined credit. Under its benign influence, these great interests immediately awoke as from the dead, and sprang forth with newness of life. Every year of its duration has teemed with fresh proofs of its utility and its blessings; and although our territory has stretched out wider and wider, and our population farther and farther, they have not outrun its protection or its benefits. It has been to us all a copious fountain of national, social, and personal happiness.

I have not allowed myself to look beyond the Union to see what might lie hidden in the dark recess behind. I have not coolly weighed the chances of preserving liberty, when the bonds that unite us together shall be broken asunder. I have not accustomed myself to hang over the precipice of disunion, to see whether, with my short sight, I can fathom the depth of the abyss below; nor could I regard him as a safe counsellor in the affairs of this government, whose thoughts should be mainly bent on considering, not how the Union should be best preserved, but how tolerable might be the condition of the people when it should be broken up and destroyed. While the Union lasts, we have high, exciting, gratifying prospects spread out before us - for us and our children. Beyond that, I seek not to penetrate the veil. God grant that, in my day, at least, that curtain may not rise! God grant that on my vision never may be opened what lies ahead! When my eyes shall be turned to behold for the last time the sun in heaven, may I not see him shining on the broken and dishonored fragments of a once glorious Union; on states dissevered, discordant, belligerent; on a land rent with civil feuds, or drenched, it may be, in fraternal blood! Let their last feeble and lingering glance rather behold the gorgeous ensign of the Republic, now known and honored throughout the earth, still full high advanced, its arms and trophies streaming in the original luster, not a stripe erased or polluted, nor a single star obscured; bearing for its motto, no such miserable interrogatory as "What is all this worth?" nor those other words of delusion and folly, "Liberty first, and Union afterwards"; but everywhere, spread all over in charaters of living light, blazing on all its ample folds, as they float over the sea and over the land and in every wind under the whole heavens, that other sentiment, dear to every true American heart - Liberty and Union, now and forever, one and inseperable!

Oh yeah, I guess I should have said "the best speech I ever wrote down" for the title. Oh well, what's done is done.

As you have probably guessed, I did not actually write this. But does anyone know who did?

Google is not allowed.

What Takes the Wind Out of My Sails:

Making a joke that requires background knowledge to be a appreciated; background knowledge which is not possessed by the person to whom the joke is being told.

True example:

Me: "[When you're rich and I am a famous architect] I could design you a house on a lake and call it "Sitting Water"! Hahahahahaha!

Conversational partner: Huh, sounds like an Indian name to me.

Me: Oh, you haven't heard of "Falling Water"?

Grrrr.