Try Harder! Stress Less!

I played table tennis for a couple hours this evening, first with Ryan and then with my dad. I played appallingly poorly. True, the lighting in our basement is less than ideal, and if we showed our table to anyone with real ping pong skills and ambitions, he would probably stare at it icily or guffaw in our faces and our relationship would have to be discontinued. But if the playing field was not even, at least its unevenness was shared by both players. I could not complain that it was not fair. No, my big excuse for Ryan beating me something like eight times out of ten was tension: I wanted to win so badly that I would find myself straining every muscle in an attempt to be more ready for every shot. Then, recognizing my stress level and sagaciously remembering that I perform better stress-free, I would try to be calm and relaxed. Unfortunately, this usually resulted in my growing increasingly floppy and unfocused. I would try so hard to relax that I would not try to play. It was distressing.

It can be so hard to “try to relax.” That’s the trouble, really. Stressing out about not being relaxed is counterproductive, not to mention illogical. "Relax and try harder" is a different statement altogether, however, and paradoxical though it may sound, I would go so far as to say that, in many situations, relaxation and exertion must both be pursued for any measure of success to be attained.

When I played my dad later, it was a lot better. Something about playing someone who is not your little brother and who used to be a high school champion (though when he was a senior he came in second to a sophomore and still kicks himself about it) makes it matter slightly less that you win. And when the stakes are lowered, relaxing is easier. I lost every game to my dad, and by bigger margins than when I played Ryan, but I played much better and had more fun. And that’s really what the game is all about.

(Well, primarily about.)

Ping pong is not the only area where the principle of simultaneous relaxation and exertion is effective – it is merely the example that is most current in my mind. The other example that comes quickest to my mind is playing the piano. You simply can NOT play with great speed if you are not relaxed. And you cannot play with great speed unless you focus and apply yourself, too.

It’s also true for running. It’s also true for debating. It’s also true for singing, for web design, for swimming… Oh, good grief! It’s a universal principle of life! The Great Aaron has revealed it. Use it often. Use it well.