Possible Slogans for 2010

I don't know if this is something everyone does or not, but in my family we sometimes come up with slogans for the new year. You know, catchy phrases like "Buy a new crate in 2008," or "Things will decline in 2009." Those were not our official slogans from the past two years; in fact, if we had official slogans, I can't remember them. But whatever clever jingles we did come up with, official or not, are in the final stages of obsolescence. It's time for some new ones. I have lots and lots of excellent suggestions.

Pronunciation note: For some of these slogans you have to say "twenty-ten" and for others "two thousand ten." You can figure out which works better as you go.

#1. Meet lots of men in 2010. Sorry, ladies, no offense intended. It's not that I don't like meeting you just as much those of my own gender; but, to be quite frank, "ladies" does not rhyme with "ten." Nor does "girls." Nor do "misses," "madames," or "those of the female persuasion." "Women" does come pretty close, but the meter is all wrong. So men it is.

#2. Listen to Glenn in 2010. This is not really one of my goals. Glenn Beck is a pretty good host, but I haven't listened to him much and I have no overwhelming desire to do so. If listening to talk radio is on your 30 by 30 list, however, this is the year. Do it.

#3. Eat a hen in 2010. This is for those non-vegetarians who want really easy New Year's resolutions. If you really want a resolution that would be hard to keep, you could change the "a" to a "no," but I don't know why you'd want to.

#4. Eat like a Karen in 2010. A number of the students at Bible school this year are students from the Karen (pronounced kə-REN) ethnic group in Burma. Perhaps the most remarkable characteristic these people exhibit is a strength of taste buds that is positively astounding. Nothing is safe from the cayenne pepper shaker when they are around. Want to develop superpower tastebuds yourself? Want to be able to eat anything? The only way to get there is practice. Eat like a Karen.

Quick recipe for those who decide to follow #4:
Make oatmeal - lots of it. Pour it in a bowl. Cover it with black pepper, salt, and cayenne pepper until the oatmeal disappears. Mix it all up. Add more spices to taste. Enjoy!

#5. Stay friends with Ben in 2010. This one is going to be really hard for me. Ben and I have only been friends for twenty years, after all, and, though I can hardly imagine a closer, better friendship, who knows what could happen in the next twelve months? Don't worry, Ben, I'll stick to you like glue.

#6. Take up your pen in 2010. This one is actually serious. I want to write more. Writing improves with practice, as a quick glance back in my blog archives will prove, and I want my writing to keep improving. College will help with that, I'm sure, but I want to get better on my own, too.

#7. Never again in 2010. Do you regret anything from your past? Did you make any mistakes in 2009? This slogan is for you. It's very versatile. You can use it however you wish. As a matter of fact, "again" is itself pretty much a wild card in 2010 slogans. "Wash the car..." "Make dinner..." "Read the Bible..." "Stop smoking..." Pretty much anything goes! Take it. Use it. No charge.

#8. Pray for peace in 2010. Okay, this one requires a little creativity. Running out of English rhymes? Pronounce the year in French! Deux mille dix rhymes with peace, and a whole slew of other words that would otherwise never make any New Year's slogans ever.

#9. Care for your chien in 2010. Another French trick. Chien means dog.

#10. Remember that God can in 2010. This is the best I could come up with for a real, pithy, worthwhile slogan. Nothing is impossible with God, and I want to live like I believe it. When big difficulties present themselves, such as paying $30,000 for college, or having lots of convention responsibilities, or even the constant difficulty of budgeting my time and arranging my priorities when I have a million things to do, that is when the recognition of God's omnipotence is absolutely essential. I need to remember that God can provide, that God can guide, and that God can inspire.

So there you go. All sorts of good resolutions for the new year, compacted into clever little rhymes. I hope they have motivated you to make this year a successful and glorious one. Happy New Year!