Video: Remember When It Rained

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Ben and I had a lot of fun with this.

Look out Orlando!

Here comes Aaron!

The Best Speech I Ever Wrote

I profess in my career hitherto to have kept steadily in view the prosperity and honor of the whole country, and the preservation of our Federal Union. It is to that Union we owe our safety at home, and our consideration and dignity abroad. It is to that Union that we are chiefly indebted for whatever makes us most proud of our country. That Union we reached only by the discipline of our virtues in the severe school of adversity. It had its origin in the necessities of disordered finance, prostrate commerce, and ruined credit. Under its benign influence, these great interests immediately awoke as from the dead, and sprang forth with newness of life. Every year of its duration has teemed with fresh proofs of its utility and its blessings; and although our territory has stretched out wider and wider, and our population farther and farther, they have not outrun its protection or its benefits. It has been to us all a copious fountain of national, social, and personal happiness.

I have not allowed myself to look beyond the Union to see what might lie hidden in the dark recess behind. I have not coolly weighed the chances of preserving liberty, when the bonds that unite us together shall be broken asunder. I have not accustomed myself to hang over the precipice of disunion, to see whether, with my short sight, I can fathom the depth of the abyss below; nor could I regard him as a safe counsellor in the affairs of this government, whose thoughts should be mainly bent on considering, not how the Union should be best preserved, but how tolerable might be the condition of the people when it should be broken up and destroyed. While the Union lasts, we have high, exciting, gratifying prospects spread out before us - for us and our children. Beyond that, I seek not to penetrate the veil. God grant that, in my day, at least, that curtain may not rise! God grant that on my vision never may be opened what lies ahead! When my eyes shall be turned to behold for the last time the sun in heaven, may I not see him shining on the broken and dishonored fragments of a once glorious Union; on states dissevered, discordant, belligerent; on a land rent with civil feuds, or drenched, it may be, in fraternal blood! Let their last feeble and lingering glance rather behold the gorgeous ensign of the Republic, now known and honored throughout the earth, still full high advanced, its arms and trophies streaming in the original luster, not a stripe erased or polluted, nor a single star obscured; bearing for its motto, no such miserable interrogatory as "What is all this worth?" nor those other words of delusion and folly, "Liberty first, and Union afterwards"; but everywhere, spread all over in charaters of living light, blazing on all its ample folds, as they float over the sea and over the land and in every wind under the whole heavens, that other sentiment, dear to every true American heart - Liberty and Union, now and forever, one and inseperable!

Oh yeah, I guess I should have said "the best speech I ever wrote down" for the title. Oh well, what's done is done.

As you have probably guessed, I did not actually write this. But does anyone know who did?

Google is not allowed.

What Takes the Wind Out of My Sails:

Making a joke that requires background knowledge to be a appreciated; background knowledge which is not possessed by the person to whom the joke is being told.

True example:

Me: "[When you're rich and I am a famous architect] I could design you a house on a lake and call it "Sitting Water"! Hahahahahaha!

Conversational partner: Huh, sounds like an Indian name to me.

Me: Oh, you haven't heard of "Falling Water"?

Grrrr.

The Stunning Truth

Are you ready?

I don't have a Segway XT. I apologize with deep and true feelings of regret to all of those who have been hurt, misled, or otherwise deeply, deeply saddened.

Nevertheless, I actually have no really strong regrets because (a) to my knowledge, no one was dreadfully hurt, and (b) it was very fun to write.

So, I am being conveniently political. If you were hurt, I apologize; if you loved it, I announce that I enjoyed it with you. Therefore everyone is pleased, contented, and overall happy. A fairytale ending to the story!!!

Segway!

I haven't been able to find my digital camera recently (a silver Casio Exilim with 6.0 megapixels, in case anyone comes across it), so I couldn't get any pictures of astonishing clarity. Here, in fact is the best I could come up with. Just look at those cool wheels! Just look at those cool handlebars! Just imagine the feel of the wind on your cheeks as you simply lean toward the beckoning horizon! Isn't it a sweet piece of machinery?
















I wish it were really mine.

You'll Never Believe This....

....but here it is anyway.

I was driving down 101 - the limited access part between Rte. 114 and S. Willow St, for those of you who are even slightly familiar with the area (or have access to Yahoo! Maps), and what should I see by the side of the road but a copy machine! This was no little 3-in-one copier thing either; no, this was massive! In case it means anything to you, it was a Xerox CopyCentre 265.

I pulled over to the side of the road and jumped out to survey the piece of equipment. I could hardly believe it, but it looked all right. It had a few scratches, but it wasn't broken anywhere that I could see. Naturally, I checked to see if there was any way I could identify the owner of the piece of equipment. At first, I couldn't find any. No one leaves his address on a copier! I was about to give up when I noticed a little sticker on the side: "Continental Business Systems; 1-888-XXX-XXXX (I can't remember the number, but it's not important anyway); Cust. ID: XXXXXXX. I got back in the car and called the number excitedly. I felt like a Hardy boy! And why not? I'm Joe's age, after all, and I was exercising my powers of deduction.

Anyway, the number didn't go through, and I was disappointed. I had really wanted a good post for my blog to rival the story on KJ's blog. Realizing that I could not let this opportunity go by, I pulled out my phone again and gave it one more try. The phone rang and rang. I was about to hang up, when suddenly someone finally answered.

"Continental Business Systems, how may I help you?"

I briefly explained the situation, and the phone-answerer (to whom I will refer as Mark, since he said that was his name and I have no reason to doubt him) gave me an address and a phone number. I wrote them down and thanked Mark politely. I was ecstatic!!! Now, Ryan and I had just taken a load of trash from the construction on our house (for those of you who don't know, we are having our kitchen remodeled and a guest room added). There were a number of boards and pieces of plywood going that wouldn't fit normally, so we had taken out the back row of seats and created a large cargo area. We had just finished emptying the trash at the local dump, and the cavernous trunk space was empty. Together, Ryan and I lifted the heavy machine into the back and headed off to the address. My imagination was running as wild as the wind, and I could hardly believe my good fortune. It never occurred to me that someone might just accept my returning his copier as a token of good will, given freely and without thought of return. Fortunately, that didn't matter.

I had instantly recognized the name of the street Mark had given me - Technology Drive, Bedford - and I knew its approximate location. We had already passed the exit, but we had to go to either Home Depot or Lowe's, and Lowe's was back at the other exit anyway. I turned off the highway onto Brown Ave, and soon we were back on going in the opposite direction. We took the S. River Rd. exit and headed down toward our destination (we had decided to go to the Technology drive address first since we might need some trunk space when we got out of Lowe's; anyway, Technology Dr is only a bit over a mile farther down the DW highway). Never before had a mile seemed so long to me! We finally got there, however, and pulled up in front of a large brick building.



In case you can't tell from the sign in front, we were at the offices of Segway, Inc.

!!!!

Ryan and I walked into the office together and, once again, explained the situation. Some oldish guy (graying hair, probably in his sixties or late fifties) who was sitting in a little office to the side overheard what I was saying, I assume. Certainly he jumped up and congratulated me on my honesty. I felt quite complaisant. I admit I may have also felt a twinge of complacency. At any rate, the man who was congratulating me appeared to think I was the best of the best. "What makes someone who finds a $15,000 item in the streets return it?" he kept asking the man at the desk, all the time shaking either my hand or Ryan's.

I could have said, "Ummm...because he had absolutely NO idea that it was worth $15,000?" but I restrained myself. After all, I would have returned it anyway, right? Instead, I said, "But how could a copier worth $15,000 dollars end up by the side of 101?"

The oldish man explained. Just an hour before, he said, some delivery guy who works for Segway had gone to pick up the copier from being repaired at Continental Business Systems in Manchester. He had just moved to the area from Massachusetts, and he got confused and took 3a (the Everett Turnpike) instead of 3 (the Daniel Webster Highway). It's a very easy mistake to make, especially considering the fact that 3a turns into 3 once you cross the NH/MA border. When he realized his mistake and turned himself around, he took the exit for 101E, apparently thinking he had passed his exit. As he was coming up onto the highway, he had to accelerate rapidly because of a tricky traffic situation, and as he sped up, the ropes that had been holding the copier in his truck broke. By the time he realized he had lost his cargo, he was some distance down the road, and he had turn around twice to get back to where he had been. He repeated his former route and sped off down to Merrimack to turn around there. And in that time slot, Ryan and I had found the copier.

I tried to retrace the routes in my mind. It seemed to me that he was pretty silly to go all the way down 3a again. I retraced the various alternate routes in my mind, and I was just deciding that the delivery guy had taken the longest possible route when I realized that the oldish man was speaking again. "Call Dean up!" he said. "We need to ask him what we should give for a reward!"

So I got to talk to Dean Kamen! We live in the same town, but I had never seen him before, nor even much more than a glimpse of his famous octogonal house. And Dean Kamen said that Ryan and I could share a Segway XT!!!!! I was about to protest such an extravagant gift (or at least I flatter myself that I was), but Mr. Kamen told me that it only costs his company half the selling price to build a Segway, and plus (he didn't say this) he is insanely wealthy. So we accepted it with great glee and jubilation.

Pictures coming soon!!!

A Wealth of Knowledge

I am not sure why I picked this title. It just came to my mind while I was lying on my bed thinking of what I should type into my wireless keyboard. It's not that I had anything particular to say; I just felt a great and mysterious urge to once more cry to the world "Aaron is here!!" or something like that.

Ahem.

Disclaimer: I am rather tired.

I have been enjoying the Lord of the Rings. I have continued to follow the list of books from my poll a month or so ago, and I am now halfway through The Two Towers. It is a bit strange reading the books with so clear a picture of the corresponding movies in my head. I think I have most enjoyed the parts in the books that were completely omitted from the films, because I am neither completely prepared for those parts nor disappointed by the change. Then again, I have come across several places where the book has a much better plot - to my mind at least - than its theatrical counterpart.

Probably the only part in the book that has slightly disappointed me has been Helm's Deep. The terrific battle scene in the movie - the orcs are slowly but surely gaining ground; the walls are crumbling before Saruman's great devices, and his many soldiers are pouring into the great fortress; the people are losing heart, and there seems no hope left; but then....the dawn breaks! and the king gathers his courage and rides forth with his strongest men into battle with the great horn blasting its call; no orc, uruk, or other foe can stand before them at the charge, but the men are just beginning to grow weary...when Gandalf the White appears at the top of the hill. He and Eomer lead the Rohirrim down to a great and inpiring victory against the teeming masses of evil, and those of the T.M. of E. that live flee into a strange forest, never to be seen again. - THAT is my favorite scene in all of the three movies, and it was quite different in the book. I won't bother naming the differences, but they were enough that I was just a bit disappointed. Nevertheless, I think I am enjoying the book more than the movie overall.

And now, no more knowledge that I wish to share is jumping to mind, and the clock is ticking steadily. I have not been feeling 100% well for over a week now, and I think a good rest would do me much good. Would that I had the energy and quickness to produce a fortune of knowledge instead of just a wealth! Still, life must go on. I bid you adieu.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

"It's what you say when you don't know what to say."